[caring is creepy]

this one's optimistic

2006-01-01T15:09:00.000-05:00

I was at work last night and I found myself very depressed. You see, I have a cold right now, a mean one that prevented me from even wanting to have a drink on New Year's Eve. I would have loved to not work last night, but my co-workers are too selfish; concerned more with their own plans of partying than my plight. It occurred to me that the people I work with won't do a favor unless it's somehow advantageous to them. And I fear I am falling into the same frame of mind.

New Year's Eve is always particularly hard for me. This year I looked back on 2005 and realized that I've accomplished nothing. I am a year older (I will be 27 this June - a stone's throw from 30) and still stuck in a loser job that I hate, I am unhappy with my living situation, and I seem to have no means to resolve any of this.

Don't get me wrong, there is good. I love my girlfriend, I love my family, and I love my friends. There is beauty in the world - everything from a VW Bus decorated in Christmas lights to a Monet to the guitars in a My Bloody Valentine song. But all that is going to be there no matter what I do. By not changing my life, I am sending out a message that I am content with what's good and I don't care to improve it. This is not true, but I can't seem to empower myself to make a change for the better.

For the last two weeks, I have contimplated quitting my job every day. I am afraid that by working there, I am stuck in a rut of being content with what I have. I wonder, if I quit my job, will it force me to make a change for the better? Or at least some kind of change because what I have right now isn't working. Do I quit before I have another job? Or do I toil away, hoping a new job falls into my lap before I sever ties with Pondo?

So as I was the last server at work last night, having selflessly sent everyone else home eventhough I was the sick one, I realized that I am too good for what I have. I am too smart, too considerate, too well spoken to have peers who care only for partying and getting laid. There are more important things in life, and I will attain them, and this year I resolve to at least take one step in the right direction.

So long Pondo, so long bad life.

"I am the resurrection" -- Ian Brown of the Stone Roses

how green day ruined music

2005-11-10T15:09:00.000-05:00

I was born in 1979, a true child of the 80's. But I did all my real growing up in the 90's. So I was there when Nirvana broke the mainstream, and I cheered as Pearl Jam, Soundgarden and Alice in Chains followed. I thought Stone Temple Pilots were a cheap rip-off of the afformentioned bands, but I learned that they were unique to the scene also. The decade pressed on; the music flourished.

And then in 1994 Green Day released their first major label album Dookie.

There is no dictionary entry for the word "dookie" but people have widely accepted that it is a slang term for feces, much akin to the word "shit".

Back to the record. This aptly titled release spawned a whole new genre of music which we new call "pop-punk". Pop-punk is easily recognized by it's catchy hooks laden with 80's punk-ish guitar and non-sensical lyrics. An example from Dookie:

"Bite my lip and close my eyes
Take me away to paradise
I'm so damn bored I'm going blind
And I smell like shit"

How stimulating (har har).

Anyway, it's this kind of drivel that has completely ruined music. Right around this time my beloved grunge started to die away, and the entire landscape of pop music changed. Similar bands started popping up - The Offspring, blink-182, Presidents of the United States of America and later The Vines, Sum 41 and Simple Plan. The line between mainstream and alternative was skewed even further. People began to think that listening to Bowling for Soup made them alternative; the fact of the matter is people are listening to that because it's being shoved down their throats.

I was at Barnes & Noble with Melissa a few months ago. She was skimming over some music magazine, Spin or something or other, and showed me a few articles. All it did was tell me how great Deathcab for Cutie, The Killers and Franz Ferdinand are. Wait a minute, those are the "alternative" acts that are supposed to be all popular with the underground right? So is it alternative or is it pop? Is there even a difference??

In closing, I would like to once again thank Green Day for ruining music.

i'm lame

2005-10-20T14:35:00.000-04:00

My life is really boring these days.

No really, I haven't updated here because I just have nothing to talk about. Nothing!

So I'll just give some advice, or really more of a suggestion. Go get caught up on your Strong Bad Email! And if anyone can inject a little excitement into my life, by all means do so.

**edit** I've set this blog to only allow comments from registered users, sorry if this is a problem for anyone. But this spamming is total bullshit.

links of the day

2005-08-26T02:42:00.000-04:00

Kevin Shields and Belinda Butcher of My Bloody Valentine.

Check out Tremolo or To Here Knows Web for bios, downloads, lyrics, everything about this Irish-British quartet that revolutionized rock music in the late 80's and early 90's.

mortality and technology

2005-08-24T02:41:00.000-04:00

I have been depressed.

Sometimes it's easy to be depressed. Easier than it is to be jovial anyway. Depression hit me a few years ago when I was living alone and my girlfriend left me, and it relented until long after I was over her. But I have been past that for a long time, and while I am not generally happy about things like my job and living situation, I wouldn't say I have been depressed.

Birthdays are another time where it's easy to be down on oneself. My 25th birthday, that was June of last year, was especially bad. I didn't have a girl, just started a job I was not thrilled about, and felt like I had no chance at a good future whatsoever. But I got over it in a couple weeks when I came this close to hooking up with a really attractive girl when I was visiting my cousin in Chicago. And I'm sure the added confidence helped me when I met Melissa, and she has been fantastic for me, keeping me good and happy for this last year.

But about two weeks ago a strange thing happened to me. I was at work, doing nothing abnormal. I was walking from one station to another - a good 15 foot walk. I took a step and I heard a *pop* in my left hip. Ouch! And yeah, to make a long story short, I've been limping around ever since. I've seen a couple doctors, nothing shows up on x-ray. I've missed some work and even when I do go in I feel generally useless. This is where the depression sets in... I feel old; mortal. I used to be quite the athlete - I felt indestructable - and now I can barely stand to be on my feet for an hour. It's killing me from the inside right now but I think I'm healing, so things are looking up.

And things are definately looking up. I did something for me about a month ago; I bought myself a computer! It's pretty frickin' sweet, I'll spare the specs but it really moves. And games just look gorgeous on it. Half-Life 2 is especially fun (anyone out there play HL2? I'd love to get some Deathmatch going sometime). I suppose having a new computer to type on is what resparked my interest in my so-called blog here.

I also got a cell phone today. About 6 hours ago actually, and I couldn't be happier. I had a cell phone back in '99, but I fukt that up by not really paying for it (oops!). So I've gone without one since then, until I sprang the idea of a family plan on a few members of (you guessed it!) my family. If anyone out there is interested in having my phone number, just email me.

Oh yeah, and I have a picture of the gorgeous Melissa for you all.

the most loveliest person i know

I know what you're thinking, and I swear she is well above the legal age of consent.

Alright, I'm going to go download ringers or something, talk to you guys later.

in need of male bonding

2005-08-01T03:46:00.000-04:00

So a lot has been happening in the months prior to my previous post. I only got to touch on a very few things, but I think it's time to give another update.

First off, I am need of some friends. Guys. Or a guy. Someone with whom I can discuss sports, video games, boobs, music, books, movies... did I mention boobs? Someone with whom I can go to the batting cages, or go see an action flik (I heard Batman Forever was cool as hell). Someone with whom I can sit at a bar and bullshit about politics or family or teenage pregnancy or how everyone is crazy with their cell phones. Someone who can appreciate the sound of gas being passed.

What happened to my other friends you ask?

I have had two very good friends for the past few years; Steve and John. The three of us were practically inseperable. Then last November or so Steve started seeing my sister. He faded out of my life and into her's, which was all rather shocking. There was conflict between the two of us and sis and certain events transpired that made it clear that Steve was no longer my friend first. He was Gwen's boyfriend first and my friend second. Eventhough it's caused me much stress over the past months, I have refrained from opening up about here because I didn't want either of them to see how negatively this all effected me. I've come to realize that they don't care about what's going on with me enough to want to see my blog. So they aren't even aware and that's just fine. I'll spare any more details; maybe someday I can dedicate a post to it.

Then there's John. In June, he up and moved to Virginia. Yeah, that's right. Two people he knows, people he met at a bar and was only friends with because they played on pool leagues together, had moved down there a few months prior because of some military stationing thing. Well, Johnny decided going to bars six nights a week in Bay City was not an effective way to change his life, so he went to live with them without even thinking it over. With around $190, a car with no insurance that barely runs, a few articles of clothing, his Playstation 2, and a cat, he drove to Virginia. His cell phone was promptly shut off. Yeah, nice planning. To be fair, he is working now and his phone is back on, but he still hits the bar a couple times a week and has no intention of moving out of his friends' place.

My cousin Eric (whose 1 year anniversary to his lovely wife Megan is on August 22) would be the only other guy I am comfortable with like I am with John and was with Steve. But he lives in Pittsburgh, so it's not like we can just go for a drink now and then.

With all that said...

I am now taking applications for the position of "New Best Friend". To submit your application, click on the 'Contact Me' link to your right, enter the subject heading "I Want to Be Your Friend", and copy / paste the following questionaire into the email. Or just reply to this thread. Answer all questions thoroughly.

*Do you have a penis?

*Do you live in within 20 miles of Bay City, MI? If not, are you willing to make the commute to hang out? Because I sure as hell am not.

*Do you like sports? If so, tell me which ones you play, which you watch and which ones are not actually sports (i.e. NASCAR, WNBA).

*Which did you enjoy more, Bridget Jones's Diary or Mortal Kombat (the movie)?

*Do you like boobs? Elaborate on your favorites, provide images if possible.

*You arrive at the bar. What do you do first?
a) Go to the bar and get a pitcher to share with the group.
b) Find a place to sit and wait for the waitress so you can order yourself a Fuzzy Naval
c) Spot the hottest girl and stare at her, never losing sight of her for the rest of the night.
d) Immediately begin to complain about how this place sucks.

*You are a passenger in my car. Something by Bryan Adams comes on the radio, but I don't seem to have noticed. Do you...
a) Let it go. Never mess with another man's car stereo.
b) TURN THE FUCKIN' CHANNEL ASAP!
c) Start to sing along.

* Provide three (3) personal references in the following format.
Name
Address
Telephone Number
Relationship
Years Known

* Now write a short essay on why you would make a good friend.

Congratulations! You have taken the first steps toward becoming my New Best Friend. I will be carefully reviewing all applications and will be contacting people for interviews later this week.

yep, me again

2005-07-21T15:17:00.000-04:00

Refer back to last posting: I totally fell flat on keeping this updated. Ah well, I knew it would happen. I just hope no one has been holding their breath waiting for this post. They would be long dead by now...

So I got promoted at work. Kinda. I'm now the trainer for the waitstaff. I don't actually get paid more (unless I am actually training) but I do get around 35 hours a week now, so there is some fiscal compensation. I still don't like going and I'm still looking for more gainful employment. I applied at The Atrium, a more upscale restaurant downtown. I also submitted my resume to XO again. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed on both.

Melissa and I are going on a year now. It's been great. Definately the highlight of my Ponderosa career was meeting, dating, and loving her. We're thinking about getting an apartment within the next couple of months... but we'll have to see where our finances are then. I'm really hoping XO calls this time.

She and I have gone to a few concerts in the last couple months. Duran Duran in Toronto was incredible. Garbage at State Theatre in Detroit was awesome. And next month it's Coldplay with Rilo Kiley at DTE. Music has been great lately with new CD's from Gorillaz and Coldplay, Live 8 was excellent, and all these shows. Just waiting on news for a Radiohead tour / album...

I have to run off to Pondo now, hopefully I'll give another update soon.

addiction, boredom, escapism

2005-03-20T12:34:00.000-05:00

I was going to update this often. Once a day, three times a week maybe.

That obviously didn't work out for me.

I never follow through with things the way I want to. I'll go strong for a few weeks, a month, and then... *wham* Flat on my face. It's the way I am, the way I do things. Addiction followed by boredom.

The current addiction is a baseball video game. MVP 2o05 for Playstation2. Good shit. I'm gonna take my Tigers to the World Series baby. Ya know, if I keep playing it...

But it's all escapism really. Anything to get away from the hell that I call my "job". It keeps getting worse. I'll spare the details, but somehow the boss has found a way to treat his employees even more like 7 year olds than before. It's getting to be not worth the mental anguish to even go. How many times have I been within a slight push of just walking out? Too numerous to count; and the number grows exponentially with every week. If not for my lack of ambition I probably would have another job by now. But alas, I can never find the motivation to really look. I'll be playing baseball if you need me.

Speaking of baseball, I'm having a fantasy baseball league online with some friends. Email me if you want the info.

Oh, let's see... I got a couple of new CD's last week. The Breeders Last Splash was a good find for $7, but I need to give a good listen. Lush Ciao! Best of is magnificent - ethereal pop as it's finest. But Chapterhouse Rownderbowt is what I am most proud of. The song "Mesmerize" caught me in it's web a few months ago, but the band's work as a whole has me entranced now. I highly recommend giving them a listen if you get a chance.

tom brady is sooooo dreamy

2005-02-07T01:52:00.000-05:00

I know it's been a while since I sat down and typed something. What can I say? I'm really frickin' boring. For example, I accomplished exactly three things today:

1) Saw James.
We hung out for a bit. Drank some beer, got caught up on things. Talked sports and proceeded to...

2) Watch the Super Bowl.
Great game. I knew the Patriots would win, they've been my pick since the preseason. The commercials were funy for the most part; the halftime show sucked. Then we...

3) Watched Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle.
Kind of a fun movie. Would have been funnier if I was high. But alas, I no longer smoke the Mary Jane. Regardless, it was very funny to see Doogie Howser do coke off a stripper's ass.

Harold and Kumar was not nearly as good as Shaun of the Dead. Melissa and I watched that Monday and it was incredible. Right up there with I Heart Huckabee's as the funniest movies from last year. A great commentary of how droll our lives can be that a normal guy (albeit something of a loser) doesn't even realize his neighborhood is infested with flesh-eating zombies. There was gore, but it was well placed. For example, a man is literally torn to pieces by zombies; his entrails devoured right in front of his girlfriend. The woman then picks up one of her former beau's legs and proceeds to beat down some zombie ass. Funny stuff.

Played an interesting game for Playstation 2 called Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude. I played the part of Larry, a 6th year junior at a made up university whose only goal is to bang chicks. Some of the funniest dialogue I have ever heard in a video game - but also perhaps the most boring, repeatitive piece of shit I have ever seen for the PS2. I finished it in 3 days but the game tells me I had just over 6 hours played. Most of that was spent staring at splash screens while I waited for the game to load. I laughed, I cried, I watched some animated titties.

And then there are my beloved Detroit Tigers. We are in the process of signing Magglio Ordonez for (get this) 5 years at $75 million. Yep - $75,000,000. If he plays enough in the last two of those five years we'll be stuck with him for two more years... At over $15 million each year. So this one guy could earn as much $108 million. The best part? Oh, he had two surgeries on his knee last year and played in less than a third of the games in 2004. I hope this guy hits as well as he has in the past... But man, those Tigers...

So there ya have it. My boring life. I'm going to read 1984 now.

i wanna grow up to be a debaser

2005-01-24T17:19:00.000-05:00

With 2004 in the rearview for almost a month now, it is time to look back on it and smile. Or frown. Either way, it's time for me to talk about what I liked and disliked about the year gone by.

First the movies. I saw quite a few last year, but not many really grabbed me. Spider-Man 2 was fun, The Village wasn't groundbreaking but it was an interesting take on the utopian society. Saw was a ok (except for the acting) although one cannot help but compare it to the far superior Se7en. The Grudge was shit. I absolutely loved I (Heart) Huckabee's, it was by far the best of the year for me. Garden State was a fantastic vehicle for Zach Braff and should really be a launching pad for his career as well as an enjoyable movie. The Manchurian Candidate was highly enjoyable. Overall it was a good year but not extraordinary.

Next there is music. 2004 gave the public nothing groundbreaking musically. It was actually a pretty bleak year for music. I did not buy a single CD that was released last year; the only one I even considered was Modest Mouse (which I will still get sometime). A few other bands got critical acclaim, such as Franz Ferdinand and The Killers. I didn't care much for what I heard of FF but the Killers seemed ok. Melissa bought it and she seems to like it.

Last year did, however, open up some doors musically for me. I discovered some amazing bands from the past like My Bloody Valentine, Medicine, Sonic Youth, Lush, The Pixies, The Shins, and Mazzy Star among others. As much as 2004's releases sucked, my taste grew and I feel it was a good year for music personally.

I started reading in earnest again in the summer of 2003. Last year I read the last two novels in Stephen King's The Dark Tower series. They were amazing, as I knew they would be and a fitting end to possibly the greatest 4000 page novel of the last twenty years. I also read Salam's Lot and The Stand, so I am up on my King. Doug Adams' The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy was an absolute delight. My current love affair is with The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. It is a remarkable work and I highly recommend it to everyone except hardcore Christians.

By the way, I finally got my glasses from The Evil Empire. I am dead sexy now, people have been telling me so everyday since I got em, especially Melissa. I rock.

summer romance

2005-01-17T12:39:00.000-05:00

I really, really hate winter. It wouldn't be so bad if I liked to play in the snow -- skiing, snowboarding, snow angels -- but I don't do any of those things. I really prefer the sun and warmth, being able to walk outside and hear the birds.

But alas, I live in Michigan. And the I have a cold.

I haven't posted in a couple days because of said cold. It's been hell, trust me. Not like I've had much to talk about anyway; I've been doing little more than staying inside, watching TV and drinking cough syrup.

Someday I'd like to move away from the cold. Go to a place like Arizona where it's warm all the time but not too humid. Be away from my family so I don't have to deal with their shit all the time. Get a tan, fall in love with the sun. Dreams of a warm, arid climate may be the only thing that can save me from the gloom of this Michigan winter.

I am not mired in complete depression by any means as I still have my girl. Melissa brightens up any dreary day and that good feeling she brings me is better than any amount of sunshine on my skin. Even a Michigan winter is tolerable with her at my side.

soundtracks, pets and the evil empire

2005-01-12T01:16:00.000-05:00

Melissa and I have decided we want to have pets.

First a dog. We're getting a male dog and naming him Llama. Yeah, after the domesticated South American ruminant mammal (Lama glama) related to the camel, raised for its soft, fleecy wool and used as a beast of burden. You don't like it? Screw you, it's funny.

Second is fish. Lots of fish. And we are naming each and every one. And they will all be named for song titles. For example, there will be one named Teenage Riot. Purple Rain. Rio. Paranoid Android. Where is my Mind? (the question mark will be part of it's name.) You don't like that either? Then you can't be part of our club. Now bugger off.

I went back to Evil Empire (Walmart) to order my contacts and a pair of glasses today. Melissa came with me and helped me choose the frames. Appearently she thinks I'll be especially hot in 'em. That's a good thing since I want to get as much booty as possible. Of course Melissa will read this and I'm sure she'll hit me the next time she sees me. Hi darling, love you lots!

I've also decided to put together a new mixed CD. It's going to be the "Soundtrack to My Life". I'm a big fan of movies and I've always wanted to write a screenplay. My ideas for screenplays always have a main character that is basically me (or very much based on me). Well, a good soundtrack can really make a movie more enjoyable (see Garden State). So the mixed CD I am making will be the soundtrack to the movie based on my life. Here is my track listing:

01 - "I Wanna Be Adored" by The Stone Roses
02 - "5ive" by Medicine
03 - "Caring is Creepy" by The Shins
04 - "Holiday Song" by The Pixies
05 - "How To Disappear Completely" by Radiohead
06 - "Coffee & TV" by Blur
07 - "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star
08 - "For Love" by Lush
09 - "Clumsy" by Our Lady Peace
10 - "Teenage Riot" by Sonic Youth
11 - "Yellow Ledbetter" by Pearl Jam
12 - "Soon" by My Bloody Valentine
13 - "Amsterdam" by Coldplay

Get on your p2p file sharing software of choice and listen to them. Those songs say more about me than any profile I could type up. Although one of these days I should get a picture of me up here so you can see what I look like. Until then you kiddies will just have to listen to my music and read my drivel.

a world of possibilities

2005-01-09T15:13:00.000-05:00

I was just telling Melissa a few days ago that I thought something good would happen to me career-wise soon. There was no real reason for believing this other than good things seem to come in bunches. And with a new year comes new hope and with that hope springs opportunity for betterment.

I was talking to my friend James today and he was telling me that his company is hiring right now. This is excellent news. I used to work there with James before the company was bought out but I sorta stopped going one day. I was young and very immature at the time. Since then, I have always hoped I would get a chance to get back in. And perhaps this is that chance.

The openings are in the voice department. I've never worked a help desk for telephone services before, but with my customer service experience and skill, as well as my ability to grow into a job, I should have no trouble at all. I should actually excel. The only strike against me is my poor record with previous employers (this company included) with quitting outright for no reason. I should be able to explain that by pointing out how young I was. And I now have a reason; I want to better myself. Of course I want to do it for myself but also for Melissa.

Having someone has changed me and it's all for the better. Thank you darling.

this has nothing to do with sex

2005-01-07T20:04:00.000-05:00

Napolean Dynamite.

Far and away the worst 35 minutes I have spent in 2005 was spent watching that glorified piece of polycarbonate plastic shit. No, the movie was not 35 minutes long, but that was all Melissa and I could stomach. Do I recommend it? Well, I'm not a film critic. But even if I was one, I could not give a good review having only seen a third of the movie. All that said, it was shit.

I still hate my job (refer to previous posts). I have to preface by talking a bit about the snowstorm we endured yesterday. From 8:00 am to 2:00 pm it snowed. And snowed. And continued snowing. I shoveled snow (yes, with a shovel) for like an hour. And that is some back-breaking labor. Afterward, I went to work expecting a slow night. I was right in a way.

Eight servers were scheduled. Five of them, including my darling Melissa, were called and told not to even bother showing up. I was not one of the servers called off. So my section went from 9 tables in one room to 30 tables spread across three rooms. Yeah, I pretty much got my ass kicked. I ran around like a funky monkey for 5 hours or so, made $76. Yay. And I swear to God, my GM Steve listens to and respects me much more now that I've started telling costumers off. A good night, albeit a tiring one. My Melissa took care of me afterward with a nice back massage and some closeness. I want to do such things to her...

I'm at her house right now, so I gotta go and uhh.. ya know, do things to her.

perpetuating stereotypes and the evil empire

2005-01-05T13:46:00.000-05:00

I woke up today and one of my contact lenses had popped out of my eye. I found it in my bed; a crumpled heap of it's former self. I soaked it in saline solution for about an hour and put it back in. All was good. But it put quite a scare into me since I currently only have one pair of contacts. So I called up Wal-Mart and set up an appointment for an eye exam.

You ever notice how people hate Wal-Mart? I mean like, really loathe it. It's wild. But we keep on shopping there since they have the lowest prices for everything. Which brings me to the question: Why do people despise Wal-Mart so? You go there, buy just about anything, pay less than anywhere else, and go home happy. What's not to like? Are people worried that a big corperation is putting Mom And Pop's Super Shop out of business? Are they afraid of the monopoly, of our capitalism being comprimised? Au contraire! What Wal-Mart is doing is capitalism at it's finest! Great selection, lowest prices.

All that said, I really fuckin' can't stand Wal-Mart. I hate how 80% of the shoppers are pure white trash. The kind of folk that give all white people a bad name. To all the white trash out there: You are perpetuating a stereotype!! If you would take off your sweatpants and put on some jeans, apply some deoderant to the underarm area, and teach your children to behave, white people would not have such a negative view in the media. True, we can't dance or jump or sing but that doesn't mean we are all pregnant and barefoot.

Anyway, from this day forth I shall refer to Wal-Mart as "The Evil Empire". That's what it gets for attracting all the scum the way it does.

Here's a question for you kiddies: What kind of restaurant goes on winter vacation? The answer: Grampa Tony's. Melissa and I love Grampa Tony's; it's our favortite place to eat. Good, cheap Italian food, great variety and never too busy to be uncomfortable. We went there a little before Christmas and the marquee said "CLOSED UNTIL JAN 5". Weird.

In case you are totally retarded, I'll point out that today is, indeed, January 5th. This means Grampa Tony's is open! And Melissa and I were going to go there for lunch (she has to work at 5 tonight) but my damn contact lens ruined that. I was really looking forward to it... but alas.

I'm off to the Evil Empire now, wish me luck!

i am not a smack addict!

2005-01-03T13:12:00.000-05:00

I hate colds.

Late Saturday I started to feel that familiar, itchy feeling in the back of my throat. An hour later I couldn't breathe. I slept like Ewan MacGregor in Trainspotting, ya know, the baby part. And when I woke up yesterday after 4 hours of broken sleep, I felt like trash. It was as if a giant komodo dragon had chewed me up and spit me out; I was a remnant of my former self.

So I spent all day yesterday in bed, dying. Lots of Benedryl and orange juice, lots of sleep. And today I am fine. Mostly fine anyway, I still have a slightly scratchy throat and I'm all dried out. The lesson for you kiddies? Don't do heroine.

I think I get to spend the day with my darling Melissa today. I'll tell you all about her sometime, but now is now that time. But I will say she is wonderful and makes being over the cold worthwhile.

write ups and (non) resolutions

2005-01-01T01:49:00.000-05:00

I got written up at work today. It was worth it though.

New Year's Eve is always about partying and drinking and stuff, but this year was different. For the first time in 4 or 5 years, I had a girlfriend when the clock struck January 1st. So instead of being insecure and needing to be at a bar surrounded by drunk people, I spent the night in my bedroom with Melissa. We had a few drinks and watch Dick drop his ball in New York (ew, gross). It was much more satisfying than the last few December 31st's.

I also got to give Melissa her Christmas present tonight. That was great! She also gave me a "Wine for Dummies" book, so soon I will know when to order merlot and when to order cabernet.

What can I say about the upcoming year? I dunno, it just started. Resolutions are retarded so I'll set some goals instead. I want a new job. I want a new place to live. I want to spend more time with Melissa. I want to quit smoking. But mostly I want to be moderately famous and totally rich. And have lots and lots of sex. Kinky sex sometimes. Yeah.. those are my goals for 2005.

late december back in '04

2004-12-31T01:49:00.000-05:00

Oh what a night!

I knew I shouldn't have gone to work today. I mean really. First of all, my malcontent for work is not a new thing. It's been an ongoing issue with me for a few months now and I am not hesitant to let people know. I really do hate my job. A lot.

Most people call it "Ponderosa". I call it "a fucking hellhole". Why? Well Ponderosa is primarily a buffet. But it's really a restaurant with servers. And said servers are only paid what amounts to a little over a dollar an hour after taxes. So we rely on tips... But a great number of people do not tip because of the buffet. Sometimes it's not so bad. Tonight was bad.

I punched in about 15 minutes early because we were busy. I got a truckload of tables and I gave em great service (as I always do) but tonight was Night of the Tightwads or something. I was not counting but it felt like at least half of my first 12 tables stiffed me. Cool, now I am in a rotten mood. The night went on in the same manner - lots of tables, very few tips. Finally I saw this party of two get up to leave. I walked briskly over to their table and noticed that, yet again, there was no tip. So I walked toward the exit, tracked down the sixty-ish man and informed him that he forgot to leave a tip. He got mad, tried to threaten me but it came out like "if you ever do that again, I... won't give you anything!" Yeah!! What a zing!! I politely walked away and bussed his former table.

Steve, the general manager of our restaurant, comes over to me and threatens to fire me over it. I decided not to apologize or promise not to do it again because it just felt too good. Besides, I've got 6 months in now so I can collect a little unemployment if I get canned . Never fret U.S. taxpayers - with the little in tips I claim to the gov'ment I'd probably take in less than $100 a week of your hard-earned cash. Plus this job is makign medumber so i deserve sum compensacion.

I could elaborate further on how I hate my job and what a shitty night it was, but I don't need to relive it any more. My beautiful girlfriend Melissa came over after work and we had a few drinks, watched Swingers and really took our minds off things. It is always great seeing her; she brightens my mood up quite a bit. I wish she was still around but alas, I wouldn't be able to update this site if she was. So maybe you should be thankful! You wouldn't have been able to read this glimpse into the mind of a disgruntled waiter had she not left. So thank you Melissa from everyone who reads this (no one).

wow, i'm on the web again

2004-12-30T16:04:00.000-05:00

Yep, after about 4 years off from keeping my own website and domain, I've decided to make my glorious return the world wide web. After seeing a couple of my friends' blogs I wanted to have one of my own and I didn't want one of those silly live journal things. So I guess this is the part where I put my thoughts into text so anyone who cares can read.

Christmas was good. I got to spend it with my family (and I got pretty hammered on whiskey and Sprite). I got everything I really wanted - an office chair, a bedset, Lord of the Rings DVD's and seasons 1 & 2 of Family Guy. Just wish Melissa could have been there with me.

Gotta run off to work now, so I'll post more later.