i wanna grow up to be a debaser

With 2004 in the rearview for almost a month now, it is time to look back on it and smile. Or frown. Either way, it's time for me to talk about what I liked and disliked about the year gone by.

First the movies. I saw quite a few last year, but not many really grabbed me. Spider-Man 2 was fun, The Village wasn't groundbreaking but it was an interesting take on the utopian society. Saw was a ok (except for the acting) although one cannot help but compare it to the far superior Se7en. The Grudge was shit. I absolutely loved I (Heart) Huckabee's, it was by far the best of the year for me. Garden State was a fantastic vehicle for Zach Braff and should really be a launching pad for his career as well as an enjoyable movie. The Manchurian Candidate was highly enjoyable. Overall it was a good year but not extraordinary.

Next there is music. 2004 gave the public nothing groundbreaking musically. It was actually a pretty bleak year for music. I did not buy a single CD that was released last year; the only one I even considered was Modest Mouse (which I will still get sometime). A few other bands got critical acclaim, such as Franz Ferdinand and The Killers. I didn't care much for what I heard of FF but the Killers seemed ok. Melissa bought it and she seems to like it.

Last year did, however, open up some doors musically for me. I discovered some amazing bands from the past like My Bloody Valentine, Medicine, Sonic Youth, Lush, The Pixies, The Shins, and Mazzy Star among others. As much as 2004's releases sucked, my taste grew and I feel it was a good year for music personally.

I started reading in earnest again in the summer of 2003. Last year I read the last two novels in Stephen King's The Dark Tower series. They were amazing, as I knew they would be and a fitting end to possibly the greatest 4000 page novel of the last twenty years. I also read Salam's Lot and The Stand, so I am up on my King. Doug Adams' The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy was an absolute delight. My current love affair is with The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. It is a remarkable work and I highly recommend it to everyone except hardcore Christians.

By the way, I finally got my glasses from The Evil Empire. I am dead sexy now, people have been telling me so everyday since I got em, especially Melissa. I rock.

summer romance

I really, really hate winter. It wouldn't be so bad if I liked to play in the snow -- skiing, snowboarding, snow angels -- but I don't do any of those things. I really prefer the sun and warmth, being able to walk outside and hear the birds.

But alas, I live in Michigan. And the I have a cold.

I haven't posted in a couple days because of said cold. It's been hell, trust me. Not like I've had much to talk about anyway; I've been doing little more than staying inside, watching TV and drinking cough syrup.

Someday I'd like to move away from the cold. Go to a place like Arizona where it's warm all the time but not too humid. Be away from my family so I don't have to deal with their shit all the time. Get a tan, fall in love with the sun. Dreams of a warm, arid climate may be the only thing that can save me from the gloom of this Michigan winter.

I am not mired in complete depression by any means as I still have my girl. Melissa brightens up any dreary day and that good feeling she brings me is better than any amount of sunshine on my skin. Even a Michigan winter is tolerable with her at my side.

soundtracks, pets and the evil empire

Melissa and I have decided we want to have pets.

First a dog. We're getting a male dog and naming him Llama. Yeah, after the domesticated South American ruminant mammal (Lama glama) related to the camel, raised for its soft, fleecy wool and used as a beast of burden. You don't like it? Screw you, it's funny.

Second is fish. Lots of fish. And we are naming each and every one. And they will all be named for song titles. For example, there will be one named Teenage Riot. Purple Rain. Rio. Paranoid Android. Where is my Mind? (the question mark will be part of it's name.) You don't like that either? Then you can't be part of our club. Now bugger off.

I went back to Evil Empire (Walmart) to order my contacts and a pair of glasses today. Melissa came with me and helped me choose the frames. Appearently she thinks I'll be especially hot in 'em. That's a good thing since I want to get as much booty as possible. Of course Melissa will read this and I'm sure she'll hit me the next time she sees me. Hi darling, love you lots!

I've also decided to put together a new mixed CD. It's going to be the "Soundtrack to My Life". I'm a big fan of movies and I've always wanted to write a screenplay. My ideas for screenplays always have a main character that is basically me (or very much based on me). Well, a good soundtrack can really make a movie more enjoyable (see Garden State). So the mixed CD I am making will be the soundtrack to the movie based on my life. Here is my track listing:

01 - "I Wanna Be Adored" by The Stone Roses
02 - "5ive" by Medicine
03 - "Caring is Creepy" by The Shins
04 - "Holiday Song" by The Pixies
05 - "How To Disappear Completely" by Radiohead
06 - "Coffee & TV" by Blur
07 - "Fade Into You" by Mazzy Star
08 - "For Love" by Lush
09 - "Clumsy" by Our Lady Peace
10 - "Teenage Riot" by Sonic Youth
11 - "Yellow Ledbetter" by Pearl Jam
12 - "Soon" by My Bloody Valentine
13 - "Amsterdam" by Coldplay

Get on your p2p file sharing software of choice and listen to them. Those songs say more about me than any profile I could type up. Although one of these days I should get a picture of me up here so you can see what I look like. Until then you kiddies will just have to listen to my music and read my drivel.

a world of possibilities

I was just telling Melissa a few days ago that I thought something good would happen to me career-wise soon. There was no real reason for believing this other than good things seem to come in bunches. And with a new year comes new hope and with that hope springs opportunity for betterment.

I was talking to my friend James today and he was telling me that his company is hiring right now. This is excellent news. I used to work there with James before the company was bought out but I sorta stopped going one day. I was young and very immature at the time. Since then, I have always hoped I would get a chance to get back in. And perhaps this is that chance.

The openings are in the voice department. I've never worked a help desk for telephone services before, but with my customer service experience and skill, as well as my ability to grow into a job, I should have no trouble at all. I should actually excel. The only strike against me is my poor record with previous employers (this company included) with quitting outright for no reason. I should be able to explain that by pointing out how young I was. And I now have a reason; I want to better myself. Of course I want to do it for myself but also for Melissa.

Having someone has changed me and it's all for the better. Thank you darling.

this has nothing to do with sex

Napolean Dynamite.

Far and away the worst 35 minutes I have spent in 2005 was spent watching that glorified piece of polycarbonate plastic shit. No, the movie was not 35 minutes long, but that was all Melissa and I could stomach. Do I recommend it? Well, I'm not a film critic. But even if I was one, I could not give a good review having only seen a third of the movie. All that said, it was shit.

I still hate my job (refer to previous posts). I have to preface by talking a bit about the snowstorm we endured yesterday. From 8:00 am to 2:00 pm it snowed. And snowed. And continued snowing. I shoveled snow (yes, with a shovel) for like an hour. And that is some back-breaking labor. Afterward, I went to work expecting a slow night. I was right in a way.

Eight servers were scheduled. Five of them, including my darling Melissa, were called and told not to even bother showing up. I was not one of the servers called off. So my section went from 9 tables in one room to 30 tables spread across three rooms. Yeah, I pretty much got my ass kicked. I ran around like a funky monkey for 5 hours or so, made $76. Yay. And I swear to God, my GM Steve listens to and respects me much more now that I've started telling costumers off. A good night, albeit a tiring one. My Melissa took care of me afterward with a nice back massage and some closeness. I want to do such things to her...

I'm at her house right now, so I gotta go and uhh.. ya know, do things to her.

perpetuating stereotypes and the evil empire

I woke up today and one of my contact lenses had popped out of my eye. I found it in my bed; a crumpled heap of it's former self. I soaked it in saline solution for about an hour and put it back in. All was good. But it put quite a scare into me since I currently only have one pair of contacts. So I called up Wal-Mart and set up an appointment for an eye exam.

You ever notice how people hate Wal-Mart? I mean like, really loathe it. It's wild. But we keep on shopping there since they have the lowest prices for everything. Which brings me to the question: Why do people despise Wal-Mart so? You go there, buy just about anything, pay less than anywhere else, and go home happy. What's not to like? Are people worried that a big corperation is putting Mom And Pop's Super Shop out of business? Are they afraid of the monopoly, of our capitalism being comprimised? Au contraire! What Wal-Mart is doing is capitalism at it's finest! Great selection, lowest prices.

All that said, I really fuckin' can't stand Wal-Mart. I hate how 80% of the shoppers are pure white trash. The kind of folk that give all white people a bad name. To all the white trash out there: You are perpetuating a stereotype!! If you would take off your sweatpants and put on some jeans, apply some deoderant to the underarm area, and teach your children to behave, white people would not have such a negative view in the media. True, we can't dance or jump or sing but that doesn't mean we are all pregnant and barefoot.

Anyway, from this day forth I shall refer to Wal-Mart as "The Evil Empire". That's what it gets for attracting all the scum the way it does.

Here's a question for you kiddies: What kind of restaurant goes on winter vacation? The answer: Grampa Tony's. Melissa and I love Grampa Tony's; it's our favortite place to eat. Good, cheap Italian food, great variety and never too busy to be uncomfortable. We went there a little before Christmas and the marquee said "CLOSED UNTIL JAN 5". Weird.

In case you are totally retarded, I'll point out that today is, indeed, January 5th. This means Grampa Tony's is open! And Melissa and I were going to go there for lunch (she has to work at 5 tonight) but my damn contact lens ruined that. I was really looking forward to it... but alas.

I'm off to the Evil Empire now, wish me luck!

i am not a smack addict!

I hate colds.

Late Saturday I started to feel that familiar, itchy feeling in the back of my throat. An hour later I couldn't breathe. I slept like Ewan MacGregor in Trainspotting, ya know, the baby part. And when I woke up yesterday after 4 hours of broken sleep, I felt like trash. It was as if a giant komodo dragon had chewed me up and spit me out; I was a remnant of my former self.

So I spent all day yesterday in bed, dying. Lots of Benedryl and orange juice, lots of sleep. And today I am fine. Mostly fine anyway, I still have a slightly scratchy throat and I'm all dried out. The lesson for you kiddies? Don't do heroine.

I think I get to spend the day with my darling Melissa today. I'll tell you all about her sometime, but now is now that time. But I will say she is wonderful and makes being over the cold worthwhile.

write ups and (non) resolutions

I got written up at work today. It was worth it though.

New Year's Eve is always about partying and drinking and stuff, but this year was different. For the first time in 4 or 5 years, I had a girlfriend when the clock struck January 1st. So instead of being insecure and needing to be at a bar surrounded by drunk people, I spent the night in my bedroom with Melissa. We had a few drinks and watch Dick drop his ball in New York (ew, gross). It was much more satisfying than the last few December 31st's.

I also got to give Melissa her Christmas present tonight. That was great! She also gave me a "Wine for Dummies" book, so soon I will know when to order merlot and when to order cabernet.

What can I say about the upcoming year? I dunno, it just started. Resolutions are retarded so I'll set some goals instead. I want a new job. I want a new place to live. I want to spend more time with Melissa. I want to quit smoking. But mostly I want to be moderately famous and totally rich. And have lots and lots of sex. Kinky sex sometimes. Yeah.. those are my goals for 2005.